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Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

Potty training regression and giving your little ones grace | indiasroses.com

If you’ve ever read anything about potty training regression you know that the number one and number two biggest reasons for increased accidents and disinterest in the toilet are moving to a new home and having a pregnant Mom or a new sibling.

So basically a month ago when I was stressing out about escrow and our routine had gone to crap and moving was imminent and pregnancy was taking over it is no wonder that my daughter stopped having ANY interest in using the potty. I mean in a world where Mommy is stressed, Daddy is stressed that Mommy is stressed and you’re two and half and unable to control much of anything, why wouldn’t you take control of the one thing that you can and flat out refuse to use the potty? I mean is there really any other option?

So here we are back in diapers, and not the frugal, earth friendly cloth kind like we used to use, no, the landfill filling, .50cents a pop kind with unicorns on the front and magical stars that disappear when you pee in them kind. Because today when I put her in a cloth diaper she waddled around for a few minutes, told me it was too big, that it hurt and she really didn’t like it, but again what could I expect? When you don’t wear cloth diapers for 6 months it’s inevitable that you forget how to exist comfortably with the cloth diaper bulge and bubble butt.

But the truth is, it’s all completely normal. I think half the reason I’m writing this particular post is to remind myself that it is in fact incredibly normal for potty learned toddlers to have regression even without monumentally life changing events. So really all in all we’re lucky that a little pee on the floor is the worst of our whole moving/family expanding venture.

So I will give her grace, and I will look at the big picture and take the time to see that she needs normalcy restored to her world before we can move forward with anything else, and to create that for her I will take the time to make this house a home as quickly as I am able, and I will put aside my “to dos” and have diner ready at the normal time, and keep an eye on the clock so that our bedtime rituals are consistent, and most of all I will love her with everything I have, because while this has all been very stressful for me it has been more so for her because she can’t grasp the big picture, or the reasons for Mommy being grumpy, she only knows that things aren’t “right” or the “same” and needs me to be there for her as we work towards our new normal.

And may I just add I am completely aware that when the baby actually arrives all of this will once again become a whirl wind of late diners, and missed baths, but all I can do is give her one day at a time and when the baby does come we’ll have a better foundation to work back to.

Thank you for reading and please feel free to ask questions or leave comments

 

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Letting go and letting your children be perfect just the way they are | indiasroses.com

To say I’m a perfectionist would be very close to the truth. I like things a certain way and I like them to have been done a certain way to get there. This was my biggest fear before my daughter was born in 2011. I worried that my need for other people to do things correctly would be the same with my child as it was with adults, and I knew that expecting anything from a child besides presence was expecting too much. So I worried and I wondered, and then as babies do she arrived.

And there I was holding this tiny person, this tiny perfect person. She was so small and so fragile and made from so much love that I immediately dropped my fears and knew that I wouldn’t expect her to do things a certain way, because in her own creation she was the most amazing, perfect things I’d ever seen.

Fast forward to toddler-hood and the real test (so far) of this theory, but even in her juice spilling, food throwing, doesn’t quite follow directions glory I still found myself thinking that she’s doing it all with such quality and finesse and what’s a little spilled juice and missed direction when it comes to the amazing person you’ve created? It’s all part of the stage and I was and am often overcome by the way she does things and the intelligence in her actions even if they’re not the actions I was hoping for.

Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes I get completely overwhelmed. I cry(even when I’m not pregnant) and wonder if I’ll ever make it through this whole parenting thing, and I have moments when perfect isn’t the word I would use to describe my little hellion, but the truth is, she is perfect. She’s perfectly her, so at the end of the day when I’m looking at the things we’ve done and the way I’ve handled each situation I find myself always wishing I’d just let her be perfect, let her be the perfect person that she is naturally, the one that she is growing into, the one that my husband and I have the blessing to guard and nurture until she can blossom into a self confident adult who knows that it is her uniqueness and those things that could be considered imperfections that make her who she is, and that just in being true to herself and her character she is perfect.

So today when she takes all the measuring cups out of the drawer and asks to paint for the 10th time while I’m trying to get things done; I will stop and ask myself “Why can’t she do this?” and if I can’t come up with a good reason then I certainly can’t say no to her, and really what’s a little extra time teaching her to clean up when she’s done in the kitchen? Or the few moments and the casual supervision it takes to get her ready to paint?

Everything… that’s what those things are. They’re valuable life lessons and encouragement that will last her her whole life, and are far more important than finishing the dishes or avoiding a little bit of paint on the walls. So I let her paint, I let her paint and I give her the freedom to experiment and learn. I don’t tell her how to paint or correct her when she begins to use her hands. I just let her paint because the way she paints in perfect.

Thank you for reading and please feel free to comment and/or as questions.

 

 

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A post about finding the best time for yourself as a mother | indiasroses.com

When I was a kid my Mom always got up at 5 o’clock in the morning. I remembered being baffled by this as a young child, and further still as a teenager. I even remember finding it particular odd as a young adult on her own in the world for the first time. “Who has time to wake up at 5 a.m.?” And as a stay at home mother she wasn’t getting up for some timed job, she had all ready been on the job all night; this would have been her opportunity to get some extra sleep, but still she got up at five every morning.

Now as I sit her writing this at 6 a.m. my whole life (so far) later, I begin to understand the reason for the early hours. It wasn’t a conscious decision and there have certainly been moments in my life as a mother that I ignored the early morning wake up call but somehow, sometime after the birth of my daughter I also found my internal clock shifting and my mind and body waking before my family was up and my wife/mother job started for the day. It’s such a peaceful time sitting quietly listening to the world waking up and the sounds of my family sleeping calm, relaxed and undisturbed as time moves forward around them. It’s magical, magical and just for “Me”.

In the evening after my daughter is asleep for the night, my husband is happily entertained by his latest gaming interest and all the house is pulled back together; after dinner and family life I find myself with a little bit of time to myself which I greatly appreciate, but at the end of the day when everyone’s needs have been met and all has been said and done there is very little of myself left for me. I’m tired both mentally and physically, the pains of pregnancy are gnawing at my body and creativity is something I vaguely remember from earlier in the day when I was crafting with my daughter or trying to reason my way out of another tantrum. It’s not really time for myself as much as time by myself while the weight of my whole day still wrests heavily on my shoulder.

But 6a.m….. That really is just for me. Being a natural morning person after getting out of bed and brushing my teeth I find myself feeling alert and refreshed, ready to take on a new day full of wonderful and positive possibilities. As I sit here alone the weight of life is light and my optimism for the future is sweet and heavy with promise. And it’s these moments as the sun peaks over the mountains, light trickling into the valley, as a new day is born that I find myself being able to truly recharge and center myself in a peaceful and calm way that could last me a lifetime if only I remembered to great it each day as it comes and give this gift to myself, for the peace that I gain from this hour of new day far exceeds the benefits of an extra hour in bed.

When do you get your “Me” time?

Also if you caught it this is in fact a picture of a sunset and you’re right. I couldn’t find one I’d taken in the morning and it was just to beautiful to leave out.

 

Thank you so much for reading and please feel free to comment and/or ask questions bellow.

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A weeks worth of snail activities for children: indiasroses.com

My two and a half year old daughter is a handful. An adorable, loveable, sweet, curious handful, but a handful none the less. She is very smart and becomes under stimulated incredibly easily. And as everyone with a toddler should know under stimulation breeds misbehavior, tantrums, and a whole lot of unpleasantness all around. So in a hope to improve the general atmosphere of our home I have initiated Theme Weeks!

Each week we pick a theme and base our play and learning around it. This week I chose SNAILS. So instead of seeing my daughter struggle and wondering what activity I could do with her and getting overwhelmed by the mass quantity of possibilities on my Pinterest feed I narrowed it down by choosing one theme. This week whenever I noticed she needed a little something I first thought snails and from my own creativity and a little help from Snail Crafts on pinterest we were set. It was amazing how much easier it was to come up with fun ideas when I’d narrowed it down to one specific topic.

A weeks worth of snail activities for children: indiasroses.com

We started off by collecting three garden snails to be guests in our home for the week, and learned how to keep them moist and happy with a little help from Wikihow: How to Care for Garden Snails.

A weeks worth of snail activities for children: indiasroses.com

After carefully observing them in their new terrarium home we moved on to something we could get a little rougher with… Polymer Clay (we used Sculpey brand clay because it’s incredibly easy to manipulate). We rolled the clay into long snakes and then rolled the snakes into spiral snail shells, formed little snail bodies and added a set of copper wire eye stocks and were set to bake them. We followed the baking instructions from the side of the clay package and a half hour later we had fully cooked, solid and very hot snail toys. We let them cool for 15 minutes and they were ready to go.

A weeks worth of snail activities for children: indiasroses.com

After having a chat about Simple Snail Anatomy (Eye Stalk, Shell, Muscular Foot, Mouth) we got into a discussion about Escargot and she was inspired to do a little imaginative play in her kitchen.

A weeks worth of snail activities for children: indiasroses.com

We also had a snail inspired lunch of peanut butter and jelly rolls, banana slices and carrot slivers served on a bed of fresh baby spinach; it was a big hit, and way easier than you would think. When I was putting it together I was surprised to see that once all the elements were placed together it looked great, so don’t be intimidated and give it a try.

A weeks worth of snail activities for children: indiasroses.com

Having spent some time on snail anatomy I got to thinking about spiral shells and spirals in general so we spend an afternoon with our pens, crayons and paper drawing lots and lots of spirals and talking about how they go around and around and around. We also made spiral shell sun catchers by putting our own spin on this great little tutorial over at Mom to 2 Posh Lil Divas about making coffee filter art.

By the end of the week my daughter could identify and draw a spiral tell you the basic anatomy of a snail, and is a much more pleasant, much happier, much less whiny little person who loves snails, and I feel like a great, attentive mother. Wins all around in my book.

Thank you for reading and please feel free to comment and/or ask questions

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It’s been a while since I’ve been here. I check in every so often and stare longingly at the cover page of India’s Roses and wish I never put it down, but that’s just a thing I can’t undo like most things in life that have already been done. So instead I pick myself up, dust the cobwebs from my headline and try again.

So here goes…. (more…)

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My daughter is 20 months old and a frequent user of the word “No”. I knew this phase would come and I’d heard all the same horror stories about it that most parents do, but when she did finally learn the word “No” I was surprised to find that every single time she said it, it was exactly what she meant.

It wasn’t a form of rebellion, or a means to torture me by refusing every single possible thing I came near her with; it was a means of finding and embracing her own personal sovereignty. Of letting me know what she thought was wrong and what she didn’t like. So instead of overpowering her like so many parents do I made a decision to respect her instead. When I ask her a question and she says “No” and I feel that she understood me and fully grasped the concept of what I was putting before her then I take the “No” at face value and that’s it, she said “No” and “No” means “No”.

Now there are always some exceptions like when we’re getting ready to go in the morning and she doesn’t want to wear clothes or be strapped into her car seat, but I also make sure not to offer up these things as options. I don’t ask her “Can we brush your teeth now?” I tell her “It’s time to brush your teeth!”, but if I do ask her a question like “Would you like yogurt for lunch?” or “Can I give you a kiss?” and she says “No” then we don’t have yogurt, and as much as I’d like to give her a big kiss on the cheek I don’t because she obviously isn’t interested at that moment and I respect that.

Another reason I think it’s so important to respect the “No” from an early age (especially for girls) is because you should always feel with every part of your being that when you say “No” that is does in fact mean “No” and if someone doesn’t respect that and tries to force you into something you are not comfortable with you should feel empowered by the fact that you gave them an easily understandable statement meaning that you did not, do not, and would not willingly participate in whatever it is they are suggesting (or forcing) and that you have every right to use any means possible to remove yourself from the situation and that by saying “No” you were in the right and they were without a doubt in the wrong. No shame should be felt, No guilt should be lived with because you wholly believe in the meaning of your “No”.

So as I try to get my toddler dressed this morning and make the mistake of asking her “Would you like to put on your shirt now?” and clearly hearing her pronounce “NO!” I respect that she means it and wait a little longer before rephrasing and telling her “It’s time to put on your shirt now”.

 

 

 

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After 8 months of having a child living and breathing on the outside I’m starting to feel like I might actually be regaining some of my individuality, like a sliver of that person I was before I dedicated my life to new life is getting a moment at the surface to breath.

Now don’t get me wrong… I love being a mother and I’ve wanted to be a mother for far longer than I would like to admit, but somewhere in the midst of morning sickness, birth and raising a baby I became a new person and in my new roll as a Mom I very quickly lost the time I used to spend being me.

But at 8 months old SweetPea has become so independent, happily exploring and playing on her own, and I’ve found myself with “freetime” a strange and bizarre concept I vaguely remember from my previous life.

The other day I was able to spend time baking in the kitchen, experimenting with new recipes while she happily played with a wooden spoon at my feet for an hour! A whole HOUR! And from that hour I got the most delectable, savory, moist, wonderful scones I have ever been so lucky as to taste. Pumpkin Scones to be exact which you can find here if you’re interested.

When I was pregnant and my Husband and I were talking about parenting and finding the style that paired best with our feelings and beliefs we were instantly drawn to attachment parenting a philosophy that mirrored our own parenting desires and promoted comfort and independence in our child, and I am so happy to be seeing first hand how comfortable and secure we have made our daughter by earning her trust with closeness and reassurance.

As time wears on and SweetPea learns more about herself and her independence I am blessed with the opportunity to rediscover the person I am as a mother and as myself

And the real cherry on top of my parenting Sunday would have to be Yoga! With her new found sovereignty SweetPea will happily crawl about our bedroom happily playing with toys and trying to crawl on top of me while I get to spend 15-20 minutes a day releasing stress and practicing Yoga a pastime I could never consistently fit into those precious hours she spends napping each day.

Thank you so much for reading!

 

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