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Potty training regression and giving your little ones grace | indiasroses.com

If you’ve ever read anything about potty training regression you know that the number one and number two biggest reasons for increased accidents and disinterest in the toilet are moving to a new home and having a pregnant Mom or a new sibling.

So basically a month ago when I was stressing out about escrow and our routine had gone to crap and moving was imminent and pregnancy was taking over it is no wonder that my daughter stopped having ANY interest in using the potty. I mean in a world where Mommy is stressed, Daddy is stressed that Mommy is stressed and you’re two and half and unable to control much of anything, why wouldn’t you take control of the one thing that you can and flat out refuse to use the potty? I mean is there really any other option?

So here we are back in diapers, and not the frugal, earth friendly cloth kind like we used to use, no, the landfill filling, .50cents a pop kind with unicorns on the front and magical stars that disappear when you pee in them kind. Because today when I put her in a cloth diaper she waddled around for a few minutes, told me it was too big, that it hurt and she really didn’t like it, but again what could I expect? When you don’t wear cloth diapers for 6 months it’s inevitable that you forget how to exist comfortably with the cloth diaper bulge and bubble butt.

But the truth is, it’s all completely normal. I think half the reason I’m writing this particular post is to remind myself that it is in fact incredibly normal for potty learned toddlers to have regression even without monumentally life changing events. So really all in all we’re lucky that a little pee on the floor is the worst of our whole moving/family expanding venture.

So I will give her grace, and I will look at the big picture and take the time to see that she needs normalcy restored to her world before we can move forward with anything else, and to create that for her I will take the time to make this house a home as quickly as I am able, and I will put aside my “to dos” and have diner ready at the normal time, and keep an eye on the clock so that our bedtime rituals are consistent, and most of all I will love her with everything I have, because while this has all been very stressful for me it has been more so for her because she can’t grasp the big picture, or the reasons for Mommy being grumpy, she only knows that things aren’t “right” or the “same” and needs me to be there for her as we work towards our new normal.

And may I just add I am completely aware that when the baby actually arrives all of this will once again become a whirl wind of late diners, and missed baths, but all I can do is give her one day at a time and when the baby does come we’ll have a better foundation to work back to.

Thank you for reading and please feel free to ask questions or leave comments

 

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My daughter is 20 months old and a frequent user of the word “No”. I knew this phase would come and I’d heard all the same horror stories about it that most parents do, but when she did finally learn the word “No” I was surprised to find that every single time she said it, it was exactly what she meant.

It wasn’t a form of rebellion, or a means to torture me by refusing every single possible thing I came near her with; it was a means of finding and embracing her own personal sovereignty. Of letting me know what she thought was wrong and what she didn’t like. So instead of overpowering her like so many parents do I made a decision to respect her instead. When I ask her a question and she says “No” and I feel that she understood me and fully grasped the concept of what I was putting before her then I take the “No” at face value and that’s it, she said “No” and “No” means “No”.

Now there are always some exceptions like when we’re getting ready to go in the morning and she doesn’t want to wear clothes or be strapped into her car seat, but I also make sure not to offer up these things as options. I don’t ask her “Can we brush your teeth now?” I tell her “It’s time to brush your teeth!”, but if I do ask her a question like “Would you like yogurt for lunch?” or “Can I give you a kiss?” and she says “No” then we don’t have yogurt, and as much as I’d like to give her a big kiss on the cheek I don’t because she obviously isn’t interested at that moment and I respect that.

Another reason I think it’s so important to respect the “No” from an early age (especially for girls) is because you should always feel with every part of your being that when you say “No” that is does in fact mean “No” and if someone doesn’t respect that and tries to force you into something you are not comfortable with you should feel empowered by the fact that you gave them an easily understandable statement meaning that you did not, do not, and would not willingly participate in whatever it is they are suggesting (or forcing) and that you have every right to use any means possible to remove yourself from the situation and that by saying “No” you were in the right and they were without a doubt in the wrong. No shame should be felt, No guilt should be lived with because you wholly believe in the meaning of your “No”.

So as I try to get my toddler dressed this morning and make the mistake of asking her “Would you like to put on your shirt now?” and clearly hearing her pronounce “NO!” I respect that she means it and wait a little longer before rephrasing and telling her “It’s time to put on your shirt now”.

 

 

 

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