Pastimes for Your Future

What do you love to do? What are those things that just make you happy no matter what? Though I don’t get the opportunity to do it very often one of my great loves in life is working with clay. It’s like reconnecting with the earth and immersing yourself in the very base of nature. The way the cool body feels against my warm hands and the smell of earth that emanates up as I wedge it into a more useful form. The way clay makes me strong both physically from the pure force needed for manipulation and mentally because it’s truly one of my most peaceful and centered places; the endless possibilities each bag possesses and how with the right technique and proper dedication you can turn it into anything imaginable. It’s bliss, pure, earthy, messy, cool, bliss.

As you can probably tell clay is my happy place, and I think that anything that makes a person happy on that level is not only a gift to ones self, but a gift you can so easily share with your children. Have you ever been completely taken by someone talking about something they were truly passionate about? So absorbed in their words you found the interest almost contagious because it obviously makes the speaker feel more alive? I have, and there’s not difference for children.

Whether it’s sitting at the wheel with me or curling up in here Daddy’s lap while he plays a game on the computer my daughter is entranced by anything we show passions for, and the level on which we are able to connect and share with her the things we love is amazing because not only are we being filled with a sense of happiness by doing what we love we are overcome with a sense of pride as we watch our daughter, the person that we made from love, as she learns to love and appreciate the things that mean so much to us.

So get out there and share with your kids. Don’t expect anything from them, but give them the opportunity to amaze you with the interests and new light they can shed on your most cherished pastimes.

 

Thank you for reading and please feel free to comment and/or ask questions.

 

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Balancing Motherhood

It’s been a while since I’ve been here. I check in every so often and stare longingly at the cover page of India’s Roses and wish I never put it down, but that’s just a thing I can’t undo like most things in life that have already been done. So instead I pick myself up, dust the cobwebs from my headline and try again.

So here goes….

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Pumpkin Light

 

Happy Halloween everyone! Have a safe night and watch our for all the spooky, cute, and creepy kids out there! Don’t forget glow sticks and reflectors for your little ones and keep your animals safe so they don’t get startled by all the commotion and costumes!

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Respecting the Toddler “NO!”

 

My daughter is 20 months old and a frequent user of the word “No”. I knew this phase would come and I’d heard all the same horror stories about it that most parents do, but when she did finally learn the word “No” I was surprised to find that every single time she said it, it was exactly what she meant.

It wasn’t a form of rebellion, or a means to torture me by refusing every single possible thing I came near her with; it was a means of finding and embracing her own personal sovereignty. Of letting me know what she thought was wrong and what she didn’t like. So instead of overpowering her like so many parents do I made a decision to respect her instead. When I ask her a question and she says “No” and I feel that she understood me and fully grasped the concept of what I was putting before her then I take the “No” at face value and that’s it, she said “No” and “No” means “No”.

Now there are always some exceptions like when we’re getting ready to go in the morning and she doesn’t want to wear clothes or be strapped into her car seat, but I also make sure not to offer up these things as options. I don’t ask her “Can we brush your teeth now?” I tell her “It’s time to brush your teeth!”, but if I do ask her a question like “Would you like yogurt for lunch?” or “Can I give you a kiss?” and she says “No” then we don’t have yogurt, and as much as I’d like to give her a big kiss on the cheek I don’t because she obviously isn’t interested at that moment and I respect that.

Another reason I think it’s so important to respect the “No” from an early age (especially for girls) is because you should always feel with every part of your being that when you say “No” that is does in fact mean “No” and if someone doesn’t respect that and tries to force you into something you are not comfortable with you should feel empowered by the fact that you gave them an easily understandable statement meaning that you did not, do not, and would not willingly participate in whatever it is they are suggesting (or forcing) and that you have every right to use any means possible to remove yourself from the situation and that by saying “No” you were in the right and they were without a doubt in the wrong. No shame should be felt, No guilt should be lived with because you wholly believe in the meaning of your “No”.

So as I try to get my toddler dressed this morning and make the mistake of asking her “Would you like to put on your shirt now?” and clearly hearing her pronounce “NO!” I respect that she means it and wait a little longer before rephrasing and telling her “It’s time to put on your shirt now”.

 

 

 

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Educational Farm Tour

This week we took a field trip to an educational farm. It was a lovely experience full of flowers and vegetables, SweetPea even got to feed the chickens greens which she thought was a lot of fun. We harvested beans and made a musical instrument out of them, plus we learned that you can use plants from the garden to draw on paper just like crayons.

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Sick Toddler Nursies

I’ve always taken breastfeeding one day at a time. When people ask me how long I’m going to breastfeed SweetPea(19m) I always say “at least until tomorrow” because honestly I don’t know. I try to keep my goals small and congratulate myself on each day I make it through. Breastfeeding is hard and there are certainly days that I don’t want to do it anymore, but I keep going and on days like today when my little one has a fever and is inconsolable I know I can offer her the breast and instead of being in complete misery she can find some small comfort and fall asleep.

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Happy Birthday

 

Today is my daughter’s first Birthday, so instead of writing something new I’m going to share something one year old… The story of her birth.

                                                                                                                                      

 

This is the story of my first (and so far only) birth. It is an honest retelling of the events that occurred to bring my daughter into the world and the rawest picture I could paint to help you (the reader) understand just what it felt like to be me that day. Please take into consideration this is my own personal story when leaving comments and try to keep opinions positive or to yourself. Thank you.

 

Valentines day 2011: My pregnant belly has now dwarfed everything I encounter. I can’t see my toes; I can’t fit through the doorway; I can’t get out of the car alone. I’ve been willing myself to go into labor, visualizing my cervix softening and opening to allow the exit of my baby girl. I have been 70% effaced and 1cm dilated for three weeks. SweetPeas head is so low I can feel it before I get to the second joint in my finger and my pregnant glow has morphed into a thick layer of sticky wet sweat. I am 3 days past my doctor calculated due date, and 4 days before my personally calculated due date. I am miserable.

Pregnancy wasn’t a wonderful time for me. Six days after I ovulated right around when my little SweetPea would have implanted in my uterus I started feeling sick, and continued to feel sick until I was 22 weeks along. I had a brief point of feeling all right in the middle there, and then suffered what I would refer to as incredible traumatic heart burn for the last few months.

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First Birthday

On Wednesday my sweet little SweetPea will be one year old. Not until I became a parent did I realize how quickly time can pass. I sware just yesterday I was learning this beautiful little baby and today I sit watching her learn. I can’t wait to see what this next year brings. I plan to relish every moment because I know it will pass in an instant.

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Soaking up Media

Recently my 11 month old daughter started doing this funny little move where she puts the back of her hands together and then moves her arms outward like she’s swimming the breaststroke. It’s a very cute little bit of motion, but I had no idea where she learned it from.

Until one day she did it while watching television with her Dad and we realized that she was mimicking one of the characters on a children’s show we let her watch sometimes. It was all very cute, and we ooed and awed over her brilliance as only parents can.

But then reality sank in and I realized that my precious little baby had turned from a cooing face sleepily peaking out from the safety of my arm to a fully fledged toddler sponge, ready to absorb any bit of information that comes her way… no matter what it is.

I’d always planned on limiting her exposure to television, and one of the first steps we took was to opt out of having commercial TV and to only watch things that could be acquired without advertisements (DVDs, Netflix etc.), but now it’s time to really step it up and examine what sort of media is right for her and our family. Where I used to happily watch anything that didn’t portray violence or disturbing noises now I have to wonder if the unhealthy female insecurities of my favorite guilty pleasure dramas are going to soak right into my little girl’s brain and have negative affects on her in the future, or if the drunken, thoughtless sex implied by college kids in the latest witty comedy is going to lay a ground work for promiscuity and low self-esteem.

The more I think about it the harder it becomes to figure out where to draw the healthy line. I want to shelter her from things she’s to young to be introduced to, but I don’t want her to grow up naïve of what the world can actually be like.

And in all honesty I think it will be better for all of us to cut back on the drama and entertainment of other peoples fictional lives and focus more on nature and wildlife documentaries that allow us to expand our knowledge and nurture our interest in this planet.

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I Never Vacuumed My Couch Before Kids

This is my couch.

(Click to enlarger)

I’m one of those people who likes things relatively neat and tidy. In the morning I  wake up get my Hubby off to work and straiten the house; make the bed, fix the couch, pick up the toys that kind of thing.

So this morning as I was getting around to my weekly vacuuming I decided to build a little fort out of the couch cushions for my SweetPea. She loved it but I kind of wish I would have let them be, because now I know of the unspeakable things living under the cushions in a house with a toddler.

I never in all my years of being responsible for the cleanliness of a house have had to Vacuum underneath the couch cushions! It seems absurd, but now as the mother of a lovely little toddling person I find myself vacuuming the couch once a week and regardless of not letting her eat snacks while sitting on it I still find crackers, cheese, and bits of smushed blueberry in its squishy depths

There is no photographic evidence of the blueberry because I cleaned it up immediately instead of photographing it first, but next time I’ll get it for sure.

What sort of messes do your children make?

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