My daughter loves to watch me do yoga and try out the different poses, but eventually, usually after a few moments she gets bored with it and would rather use my strange positioning as a jungle gym. Shortly after she started doing this I found the most wonderful Yoga channel on Youtube. It’s called Cosmic Kids Yoga and it’s absolutely fantastic! The instructor Jamie, is a wonderfully cool blend of Mary Poppins and that perfectly balanced “yoga” frame of mind. She’s keeps the sessions fun and exciting while working real yoga poses into the stories and giving tips on posture and positioning. My daughter loves it, and honestly so do I.
Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
If you’ve ever read anything about potty training regression you know that the number one and number two biggest reasons for increased accidents and disinterest in the toilet are moving to a new home and having a pregnant Mom or a new sibling.
So basically a month ago when I was stressing out about escrow and our routine had gone to crap and moving was imminent and pregnancy was taking over it is no wonder that my daughter stopped having ANY interest in using the potty. I mean in a world where Mommy is stressed, Daddy is stressed that Mommy is stressed and you’re two and half and unable to control much of anything, why wouldn’t you take control of the one thing that you can and flat out refuse to use the potty? I mean is there really any other option?
So here we are back in diapers, and not the frugal, earth friendly cloth kind like we used to use, no, the landfill filling, .50cents a pop kind with unicorns on the front and magical stars that disappear when you pee in them kind. Because today when I put her in a cloth diaper she waddled around for a few minutes, told me it was too big, that it hurt and she really didn’t like it, but again what could I expect? When you don’t wear cloth diapers for 6 months it’s inevitable that you forget how to exist comfortably with the cloth diaper bulge and bubble butt.
But the truth is, it’s all completely normal. I think half the reason I’m writing this particular post is to remind myself that it is in fact incredibly normal for potty learned toddlers to have regression even without monumentally life changing events. So really all in all we’re lucky that a little pee on the floor is the worst of our whole moving/family expanding venture.
So I will give her grace, and I will look at the big picture and take the time to see that she needs normalcy restored to her world before we can move forward with anything else, and to create that for her I will take the time to make this house a home as quickly as I am able, and I will put aside my “to dos” and have diner ready at the normal time, and keep an eye on the clock so that our bedtime rituals are consistent, and most of all I will love her with everything I have, because while this has all been very stressful for me it has been more so for her because she can’t grasp the big picture, or the reasons for Mommy being grumpy, she only knows that things aren’t “right” or the “same” and needs me to be there for her as we work towards our new normal.
And may I just add I am completely aware that when the baby actually arrives all of this will once again become a whirl wind of late diners, and missed baths, but all I can do is give her one day at a time and when the baby does come we’ll have a better foundation to work back to.
Thank you for reading and please feel free to ask questions or leave comments
To say I’m a perfectionist would be very close to the truth. I like things a certain way and I like them to have been done a certain way to get there. This was my biggest fear before my daughter was born in 2011. I worried that my need for other people to do things correctly would be the same with my child as it was with adults, and I knew that expecting anything from a child besides presence was expecting too much. So I worried and I wondered, and then as babies do she arrived.
And there I was holding this tiny person, this tiny perfect person. She was so small and so fragile and made from so much love that I immediately dropped my fears and knew that I wouldn’t expect her to do things a certain way, because in her own creation she was the most amazing, perfect things I’d ever seen.
Fast forward to toddler-hood and the real test (so far) of this theory, but even in her juice spilling, food throwing, doesn’t quite follow directions glory I still found myself thinking that she’s doing it all with such quality and finesse and what’s a little spilled juice and missed direction when it comes to the amazing person you’ve created? It’s all part of the stage and I was and am often overcome by the way she does things and the intelligence in her actions even if they’re not the actions I was hoping for.
Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes I get completely overwhelmed. I cry(even when I’m not pregnant) and wonder if I’ll ever make it through this whole parenting thing, and I have moments when perfect isn’t the word I would use to describe my little hellion, but the truth is, she is perfect. She’s perfectly her, so at the end of the day when I’m looking at the things we’ve done and the way I’ve handled each situation I find myself always wishing I’d just let her be perfect, let her be the perfect person that she is naturally, the one that she is growing into, the one that my husband and I have the blessing to guard and nurture until she can blossom into a self confident adult who knows that it is her uniqueness and those things that could be considered imperfections that make her who she is, and that just in being true to herself and her character she is perfect.
So today when she takes all the measuring cups out of the drawer and asks to paint for the 10th time while I’m trying to get things done; I will stop and ask myself “Why can’t she do this?” and if I can’t come up with a good reason then I certainly can’t say no to her, and really what’s a little extra time teaching her to clean up when she’s done in the kitchen? Or the few moments and the casual supervision it takes to get her ready to paint?
Everything… that’s what those things are. They’re valuable life lessons and encouragement that will last her her whole life, and are far more important than finishing the dishes or avoiding a little bit of paint on the walls. So I let her paint, I let her paint and I give her the freedom to experiment and learn. I don’t tell her how to paint or correct her when she begins to use her hands. I just let her paint because the way she paints in perfect.
Thank you for reading and please feel free to comment and/or as questions.
What do you love to do? What are those things that just make you happy no matter what? Though I don’t get the opportunity to do it very often one of my great loves in life is working with clay. It’s like reconnecting with the earth and immersing yourself in the very base of nature. The way the cool body feels against my warm hands and the smell of earth that emanates up as I wedge it into a more useful form. The way clay makes me strong both physically from the pure force needed for manipulation and mentally because it’s truly one of my most peaceful and centered places; the endless possibilities each bag possesses and how with the right technique and proper dedication you can turn it into anything imaginable. It’s bliss, pure, earthy, messy, cool, bliss.
As you can probably tell clay is my happy place, and I think that anything that makes a person happy on that level is not only a gift to ones self, but a gift you can so easily share with your children. Have you ever been completely taken by someone talking about something they were truly passionate about? So absorbed in their words you found the interest almost contagious because it obviously makes the speaker feel more alive? I have, and there’s not difference for children.
Whether it’s sitting at the wheel with me or curling up in here Daddy’s lap while he plays a game on the computer my daughter is entranced by anything we show passions for, and the level on which we are able to connect and share with her the things we love is amazing because not only are we being filled with a sense of happiness by doing what we love we are overcome with a sense of pride as we watch our daughter, the person that we made from love, as she learns to love and appreciate the things that mean so much to us.
So get out there and share with your kids. Don’t expect anything from them, but give them the opportunity to amaze you with the interests and new light they can shed on your most cherished pastimes.
Thank you for reading and please feel free to comment and/or ask questions.
There is a question, a strange, forward, blunt, probably socially unacceptable (though that doesn’t bother me because I think more people should feel comfortable asking and answering questions about sex) question that I have been asked a lot, and I feel I should answer that question here for the masses to maybe clear up a little gray area in the whole “Attachment Parenting, Closer Living” world.
So I will answer the “sex question” because like I said I get asked the “sex question”… a lot, by people I know, people I’ve just met, and complete strangers, so it must be a pretty big wonder out there among none bed/room sharing parents. That question being…
“How do you have sex?” (You might not want to read this part Mom and Dad)
First off I think the question is poorly phrased because if people are really asking me the “Hows” of sex they need a lot more explaining than I’m going to do here, though sometimes I am tempted to be a little snarky and give them a 5th grade sex education answer.
Really the better question is “When do you have sex?” or “Where do you have sex?” and the answers are really rather simple… Whenever…. and Wherever… Now don’t get me wrong we’re not out having sex in public rest rooms or pulled over on the side of the road in our car, we’ve outgrown that (For the moment). We just keep it simple and use the moments that are given to us. When the kid is asleep for instance is a wonderful “When” and for the “Where” well… There’s “Everywhere”. So we just throw down a blanket and use the couch or floor, or we head to the shower. The possibilities are endless and the creativity level needed can be as simple or complex as you like.
Another great “When” is the TV “When”. When is comes to media and letting your children watch television I think that in the realm of reasons for a little screen time being able to get a some one on one with your partner is by far the very best reason in the entire world to let you child watch a half hour of educational television, and the perks of this situation if you’re the conventional type are… you can use the bed, and 30 minutes later your whole family is happier it’s a win win.
Making time to connect on a physical level after having children is so incredibly important for the health of a relationship, and in our home where all the space is shared space sometimes it takes a little extra creativity to find the time and the place, but in the end there’s always a way.
As always thank you for reading and please feel free to comment and/or ask questions.
It’s been a while since I’ve been here. I check in every so often and stare longingly at the cover page of India’s Roses and wish I never put it down, but that’s just a thing I can’t undo like most things in life that have already been done. So instead I pick myself up, dust the cobwebs from my headline and try again.
So here goes…. (more…)
My daughter is 20 months old and a frequent user of the word “No”. I knew this phase would come and I’d heard all the same horror stories about it that most parents do, but when she did finally learn the word “No” I was surprised to find that every single time she said it, it was exactly what she meant.
It wasn’t a form of rebellion, or a means to torture me by refusing every single possible thing I came near her with; it was a means of finding and embracing her own personal sovereignty. Of letting me know what she thought was wrong and what she didn’t like. So instead of overpowering her like so many parents do I made a decision to respect her instead. When I ask her a question and she says “No” and I feel that she understood me and fully grasped the concept of what I was putting before her then I take the “No” at face value and that’s it, she said “No” and “No” means “No”.
Now there are always some exceptions like when we’re getting ready to go in the morning and she doesn’t want to wear clothes or be strapped into her car seat, but I also make sure not to offer up these things as options. I don’t ask her “Can we brush your teeth now?” I tell her “It’s time to brush your teeth!”, but if I do ask her a question like “Would you like yogurt for lunch?” or “Can I give you a kiss?” and she says “No” then we don’t have yogurt, and as much as I’d like to give her a big kiss on the cheek I don’t because she obviously isn’t interested at that moment and I respect that.
Another reason I think it’s so important to respect the “No” from an early age (especially for girls) is because you should always feel with every part of your being that when you say “No” that is does in fact mean “No” and if someone doesn’t respect that and tries to force you into something you are not comfortable with you should feel empowered by the fact that you gave them an easily understandable statement meaning that you did not, do not, and would not willingly participate in whatever it is they are suggesting (or forcing) and that you have every right to use any means possible to remove yourself from the situation and that by saying “No” you were in the right and they were without a doubt in the wrong. No shame should be felt, No guilt should be lived with because you wholly believe in the meaning of your “No”.
So as I try to get my toddler dressed this morning and make the mistake of asking her “Would you like to put on your shirt now?” and clearly hearing her pronounce “NO!” I respect that she means it and wait a little longer before rephrasing and telling her “It’s time to put on your shirt now”.