It’s been a while since I’ve been here. I check in every so often and stare longingly at the cover page of India’s Roses and wish I never put it down, but that’s just a thing I can’t undo like most things in life that have already been done. So instead I pick myself up, dust the cobwebs from my headline and try again.
So here goes….
I’ve been struggling lately as a mother. I think that’s probably why I’m back here writing again. My 2 ½ year old daughter, pregnancy and being a wife have started to wholly consume my life. By the end of the day if everyone’s fed and my daughters asleep I find myself mindlessly surfing the web, checking facebook every 3 minutes and accidentally watching whatever reality show drivel is particularly mind numbing that day, and all in some hope of regaining a little bit of mental acuity and stimulating myself to think beyond potty learning and laundry detergent. But it doesn’t work; an hour or two wasted at the end of the day being completely idle and shutting down does nothing for me. By the time I head off to bed I’m not only worn out but I’m worn out and disappointed because whatever it was I was looking for, whatever it was that I needed wasn’t there and tomorrow I’ll wake up and do it all over again completely missing the point of that time completely missing that opportunity to be Me.
Me… What a strange concept. I think it’s easy as a wife and a mother to forget that you even exists somewhere in the midst of all the needs of others. That somewhere beneath the sticky toddler kisses and home made lunches for your significant other there is an entire person that deserves a little attention of her own, that NEEDS a little attention of her own in order to go on nurturing those around her without falling prey to being lost completely. So I evaluated my time and my interests, and after a loving, but stern talking to from my husband I was able to realize that my life had become completely unbalanced. All of my love and all of my attention was going to my family and an overuse of television and while one of those things is completely necessary and is part of what makes my life whole and happy the other is not worth the anguish or the time.
So I choose Me, I choose to take the time I used to waste and put it towards doing the things that make me, Me and inspire and express who I am so that among all the wonderful things in my life (and the not so wonderful things) I am represented as a whole and complete person and a well balanced part of Wife/Mother/ME.
I’d like to say thank you to everyone who is still here reading my blog even with the 10 month hiatus and thank you to anyone who’s reading for the first time. There are lots of exciting things to come and I can’t wait to share them with you.
And on a side note it’s always good to be the best possible roll model for my daughter and show her that in having a family it’s always important to take time to do the things that are just for you.
Thank you for reading and please feel free to comment and/or ask questions.