There is a question, a strange, forward, blunt, probably socially unacceptable (though that doesn’t bother me because I think more people should feel comfortable asking and answering questions about sex) question that I have been asked a lot, and I feel I should answer that question here for the masses to maybe clear up a little gray area in the whole “Attachment Parenting, Closer Living” world.
So I will answer the “sex question” because like I said I get asked the “sex question”… a lot, by people I know, people I’ve just met, and complete strangers, so it must be a pretty big wonder out there among none bed/room sharing parents. That question being…
“How do you have sex?” (You might not want to read this part Mom and Dad)
First off I think the question is poorly phrased because if people are really asking me the “Hows” of sex they need a lot more explaining than I’m going to do here, though sometimes I am tempted to be a little snarky and give them a 5th grade sex education answer.
Really the better question is “When do you have sex?” or “Where do you have sex?” and the answers are really rather simple… Whenever…. and Wherever… Now don’t get me wrong we’re not out having sex in public rest rooms or pulled over on the side of the road in our car, we’ve outgrown that (For the moment). We just keep it simple and use the moments that are given to us. When the kid is asleep for instance is a wonderful “When” and for the “Where” well… There’s “Everywhere”. So we just throw down a blanket and use the couch or floor, or we head to the shower. The possibilities are endless and the creativity level needed can be as simple or complex as you like.
Another great “When” is the TV “When”. When is comes to media and letting your children watch television I think that in the realm of reasons for a little screen time being able to get a some one on one with your partner is by far the very best reason in the entire world to let you child watch a half hour of educational television, and the perks of this situation if you’re the conventional type are… you can use the bed, and 30 minutes later your whole family is happier it’s a win win.
Making time to connect on a physical level after having children is so incredibly important for the health of a relationship, and in our home where all the space is shared space sometimes it takes a little extra creativity to find the time and the place, but in the end there’s always a way.
As always thank you for reading and please feel free to comment and/or ask questions.