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Posts Tagged ‘happy’

Sometimes… well a lot of the time in photography things just don’t quite come out the way you wanted them too, but if you’re lucky and your intentions are pure and the subject of your photos really makes you happy then even a photograph that’s not quite as sharp as you’d wanted can be  a beautiful piece of inspiration for your soul.

This set of bathing bird photos are my absolute favorites. I’d thought about photographing a bird in this bird bath for years, and when I finally got the chance it didn’t matter that the light was off or the bird was slightly out of focus, what mattered was that I was there and I got the shot, and every time I look at those little water droplets flying in the air my heart sings and I can’t help but smile. Which by my definition makes it a perfect picture.

This beautiful mosaic birdbath was created by Monica Schill over at Encased in Concrete! Be sure to check her out.

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The first time my daughter smiled it brought tears to my eyes. It was early morning and we were lying in bed, just learning each others faces enjoying those magic moments of complete consumption that can only occur between a mother and her child. “Mommy loves you!” I told her with great enthusiasm, and just as the words slipped from my lips she smiled, and that fire in my heart that ignited the first time I touched her grew and as tears ran down my face I felt the flames rise as her happiness stoked the love I held deep in my core.

A few months later we sat on the front porch, my SweetPea resting on my knees as she looked out at the world. A rampant wave of energy coursed through the air as our overgrown puppies began to wrestle their way through the parking lot. The stir of yellow and black fur caught her attention and she focused her gaze on the two thrashing dogs rolling across the dirt closely followed by our curmudgeonly old man of a dog indiscriminately barking his protest at the fun these youngins were continuing to have. And then it happened… She laughed, just a few short rich chuckles followed by a giant unabashed smile. Like someone took all the Love and Confidence in the word swirled it around and topped it with a healthy drizzle of Pure Joy and just a hint of magic. It was amazing, heart wrenchingly beautiful, and the most wonderful sound I have ever heard in my entire life.

Laughing came on slow. A little chuckle here and then nothing for weeks, and then during a diaper change or a play session with daddy we’d hear that little giggle again. At this point I was hooked. I was hooked on the joyous cadence that I knew could erupt from her tiny lips at any moment. I tried everything, but she never laughed at the same thing twice; it was always something new and exciting that would spark her next burst of joy…

… Until yesterday

We’d just arrived home from a long and grueling day in town, shuffling her in and out of her car seat as we went from store to store, SweetPea trying to nap the whole time only to be woken up at the next stop just as she nodded off, but as is almost always the case she was a good sport about it, and arrived home ready to be out of her car seat but happy. After the car was unloaded she sat in her dads arms on the front porch once again; the dogs running about playing and barking, and then it happened. She laughed, and it was as if her little heart overflowing with bliss unleashed its happiness upon the world and gushed exquisite pleasure as beat after beat continued to flow into the vibrant air surrounding her, and as she laughed the seconds strung into minutes and my heart was filled with love for this little person whom I’d made from my own flesh, and the happiness she was so freely sharing with all of us.

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I started a baby journal when I first learned I was pregnant. It was short lived and only has a few entries, but I found it today and wanted to share some of the words I wrote to her with all of you.

August 11th, 2010 – 12weeks 5days

Dear Baby,

The things I find myself wanting from life are so very different than they used to be. I no longer feel the need for a large house and a new car, but I instead long for experiences with you and your Father; a small cabin in the woods with a dog and a goat, watching bugs crawl across the floor in the living room with you and I giggling together as our puppy tries to eat them up, playing outside and teaching you about nature, mud pies and flower cakes, fresh veggies and the smell of ripe blackberries in the sun, cold rainy days spend by the fire reading books and playing games with you and your Daddy, being happy just to be alive and near the ones I love. What sweet happiness one could have with so very little.

Sometimes it’s nice to look back and be reminded of the things that were most important. I’d forgotten how deeply I felt about just having the simple things in life, and enjoying the moments made with my family over the things I can(or can’t) buy at the store. Today I am grateful for the things I have, and that’s a wonderful way to start the day!

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I hope my life is never without love… Nothing can be felt without Passion… To be Inspired is to understand the reason for living… Follow your Heart… Make Mistakes… Make lots and lots of Mistakes… Remember the things you Love, and do them… Be completely Consumed by a feeling… Give in… There is nothing in your life that you are meant to have that wont come with time… Don’t try so hard to make good things happen… Good things happen on their own… And when you find that one person that makes your world go round, That one person you can’t imagine your life without… Tell them you love them… Tell them you love them every day… Because you’re meant to be happy… And happiness is knowing what you have today… and being grateful you have it…

 

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I have had the same reoccurring dream through out my pregnancy. The context of the dream is always different and the images change and develop but the idea remains the same. A bright light shines on my swollen belly causing my skin to become transparent enough to glimpse the baby. Her skin is covered in veins and she’s always right on schedule with how many weeks along I am.

The first time I had the dream she was small and fragile swimming about in a sea of amniotic fluid, her tiny arms and legs so thin and brittle, her little body as transparent as the skin of my womb. She gets bigger and stronger every time I see her, and last night when I drifted off to sleep I was blessed with a view of my daughter, my perfect child; so big and strong her skin almost completely opaque, her fully formed appendages moving about, her perfect little nose on her beautiful little face, and the best part was her round head covered in thick dark hair. It was simply amazing to see, and when I woke from the dream I felt as though I knew her a little better than I’d known her before.

And next month when her birthday is revealed and I hold her in my arms for the very first time, I won’t be at all surprised to see the same little girl I’ve seen so many nights finally in my arms looking back at me.

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Crazy happy dirt road doggies.

 

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Calm seduction broken by the sounds of my laughter

An uncomfortable cough as our champagne toast takes a wrong turn

I love you today more than I loved you yesterday

But as our heads knock together you can see my grace hasn’t change

Cold hands on ticklish places

Kisses on my collar bone

When passion turns to uncontrollable laughter

And laughter turns to happy tears

We’ve made our romance

Unconventional romance… at it’s very… very  BEST

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There is an old rotting tree hidden in the forest of the property I grew up on, this is the story of the children that were lost there, and the photos of what they saw.

They say children used to live near here. Two to be exact, but that was a long time ago. Winters have gone and springs have come, the land has passed through generation, and almost all has been forgotten, but I remember… I remember the stories and sometimes late at night I can still hear the ghostly cries of their mother as the days came, the nights passed and she slowly realized they would not be coming home.

It began a normal day, just as everyday begins. Daylight spilled over the mountain tops as the sun slowly worked it way into the sky, dawn casting its warm glow across the world glistening like honey as the new morning light woke the creatures within. The house was alive with laughter as the children stumbled out of bed, racing for the breakfast table their mother piling heaping portions of eggs, ham, bacon and stir fried potatoes onto their plates. They squealed with delight as the salty savory aroma of cooked meats and spices reached their nostrils, and began stuffing their little faces before their bottoms even hit the chairs. If only it could have stayed this way. If only they could have woken up every morning to an inviting smile and the comforting love of their family’s home, but that is the fate of a different story, a happy story… which this is not.

With full bellies and clothes for playing their mother pushed them out the door sternly warning them to stay out of the forest before heading back inside. They raced down the old dirt road that lead towards the meadow, laughing, shouting and stumbling the whole way. Rocks flew and a cloud of dirt rose from the path as the boy came to an abrupt stop, shushing his little sister’s joyous sounds as she caught up with him. He craned his head towards the forest and listened…

“Music!” the little girl squealed her voice full of delight. Her brother reached out to stop her but was too late; she was already headed for the trees. He ran after her calling out for her to stop and wait, but she only looked back for a second a naive smile spread across her face. When she reached the edge of the forest she barely slowed as she began pushing and crashing her way through the underbrush. He paused at the edge of the grass heeding his mothers warning, but knowing he could not leave his younger sister alone. He crashed into the forest after her calling out for her to stop and turn around but she did not listen, she only pushed through the trees and farther into the shadows.

The forest began to close in around them, the trees to thick for the honey glow of the morning light to shine through. The little girl stopped as the music came to an end. The only sounds she could hear was the crunching of leaves under her brother’s boots, and the panicked beat rising from her chest as the cold darkness wrapped around them. She began to shiver as they look for some way out, but the darkness grew thicker until nothing could be seen. Her brother grabbed her hand as they frantically strain their eyes against the growing blackness, helplessly searching for some source of light to lead them home

And then she saw it… the warm glow of a camp fire not more than a few moments away. She lets go of her brother’s hand and points him towards it, a wave of relief splashing through her voice as she laughs at their good fortune. A path through the forest seemed to open before her as she easily made her way to the old hollowed out tree where the fire had been laid.

The makeshift home had jars and candles perched on every surface while a pot bubbled over the coals. The smell of the cooking and the warmth of the flames drawing her to her knees as she warmed her chilly hands. The sharp snap of a twig pulled her mind away from the comfort of the fire and she looked around, her breath catching in her throat as she saw she was alone. Her head jerked from left to right as she searched the woods for her brother but saw nothing. Another twig snapped as a woman stepped out from behind the tree. She smiled down on the little girl her green eyes sparkling as the reflection of the flames danced across her gaze, and as she opened her slender lips to speak the girl recognized the light enchanting melody that had brought her all this way.

The young girl was entranced by the calm even melody and fell deep into the persuasive stare of the forest woman’s emerald eyes. The melody shifted, and the little girl felt the heaviness on her eyes as a lullaby began. So tired was her little body from ambling through the woods, so warm was her skin as she sat near the blaze. As exhaustion rushed over her she slumped on to the fire warmed earth and slept to the enchanting sounds of the forest woman songs.

When she awoke all was quiet, the sweet lullaby had ceased, and the fire was beginning to burn down. She reached a hand up to wipe the sleep from her eyes but it did not budge, looking down she saw the ropes binding her wrist together. Raising her head she looked around for her brother hoping to see him nearby, but all she saw was the bottom of the forest woman’s long dress. She looked up into the still smiling face of the young beautiful woman and felt comfort once again, but as she continued to stare into the woman’s eyes the spell was broken, and fear began to tingle in the base of her spine crawling up through her shoulders and filling her mind.

She looked down on the young helpless girl as she released her from her spell feeling the fear as the child watched her change. The forest woman’s eyes began to glow and, her teeth began to sharpen she could see the trust draining from the little girls face just as the beauty was drained from her own. The young girl’s petrified scream pierced the air, but there was no one left to hear her cries. The witches dry and flaking lips curved into a smile around her jagged broken teeth as a white bony hand reached from beneath the dark cloak. The screaming stopped and the little girl was left alone in the dark dampness of the forest a now hollow vessel filled with nothing but fear…

Her spirit still wanders these forests, forever searching for her brother, and on cold dark nights like this one you can still hear her soft cries calling for her brother as she trips and stumbles through the trees terrified by even the faintest of sounds…

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